You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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