Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I love having hate sex.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize