Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
