I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
