i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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