I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
