I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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