Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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