he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack