Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober