In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things