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• (718): View more from New York

  you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold

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• (917): View more from New York City

  someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

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• (209): View more from California

  What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.

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• (646): View more from New York

  The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF

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