you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
