i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
