the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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