she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He kissed a someone with a penis
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
