worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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