how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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