Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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