What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We have so much sex to catch up on
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We need to get me chipped asap
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Couch. On fire.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
