You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
