apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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