therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
