How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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