The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
