I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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