How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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