Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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