i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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