idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
