So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
50% drunk capacity currently
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
