I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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