Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
