You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
