i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize