At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
