your parents love me but you hate me
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
