1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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