Me. At least after what I've been through.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
