Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
