i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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