I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
