chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
