I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
