So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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