The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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