Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
