The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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