I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
