So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think your dad took our porno
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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