What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
