there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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