my mouth tastes like poor choices
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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