Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
