All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
this hospital has no fireball
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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