This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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