Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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