Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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