on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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