how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
