lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
