Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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