I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
