it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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