guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
In America we eat man semen.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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