is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
