my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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